Up next for #RomBkLove: The Sexy Edition by @JenniferRNN
Silver Silence (Psy-Changeling Trinity, Book 1) by Nalini Singh

Sexy #RomBkLove Day 1: Sex in Romance


Short answer: Yes

When I first started blogging about Romance I wrote out a whole explanation on why I read and reviewed Romance.  One of the issues I addressed in it was the sex because that is often the first thing so many people bring up to me either out of concern (isn't it porn?) or to ridicule (smut..hrr..hrr) when they learn I read romance novels.

What about all the sex?

What about it? Yep, I am a Christian, pastor’s wife even, and I have sex. Do you have sex in your relationships? Why then should it be absent from books focused on love relationships? Sure some of it can be quite smutty, some of it can be boring (tab A into slot b) but when it is done right, it powerfully exposes characters to the reader and I enjoy reading about it. Need, desire, vulnerability & acceptance are real human emotions, and should be part of sexual encounters and a skilled author will writes sex scenes with all of these. In the romance novels I enjoy the sex scenes that are revelatory not merely titillating and the author is not scared to portray sex honestly, allowing characters to engage in good, bad, okay, empty or meaningful sex. And finally, it can be educational. No other genre places such a focus on female desire and female sexual satisfaction and I really appreciate that. I grew up with little conversation on sexual topics beyond encouragement to be sexually pure and the vague promises of happy married sex if I held out that long. When I read Romance fiction I find the variety of portrayals of sexual desire and arousal to be life-affirming. It might not always be my thing, my kink, but it is a human expression of love and my own life is fuller for reading about it.

   I am really glad Jennifer decided to open with this prompt for this version of #RomBkLove.  For me there isn't one answer for too much or too little, open door or closed door, except that the sex needs to serve the story and the voice of the author or it quickly becomes boring or laughable.  If I find myself skimming through sex scenes, it probably means that the sex is interrupting the pacing of the story. And as many other people have mentioned in the thread today, it needs to carry the emotional through-line of the romance.

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